I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
