he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
