Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
