the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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