End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
BRING THE BAGELS
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
