Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
