I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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