If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
