if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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