Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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