Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
