So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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