I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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