Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
