Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
