I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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