I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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