Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
