you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
