he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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