Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I didn't notice because vodka
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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