Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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