everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
