i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
