xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
