I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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