Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
