two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm passing your future prison.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
