if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
