Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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