last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
