Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
