ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
