To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
