i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm too high and old for this...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
