His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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