Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
