i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
