Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
