I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
