Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she smelled like a LAN party
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
