The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
