OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
