You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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