Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
