Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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