he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
