I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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