Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
