And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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