It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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