Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
